As I travel the road of life I realize once again that many things are clearly imbalanced. One of which is how we handle personal and business relationships. I believe the teaching from the bible, "two wrongs do not make a right" is the point that emphasizes my thoughts today.
My path for many years has been to remedy my need to blame, criticize or project unfounded emotions onto others in order to make myself feel better. I have worked diligently not to harbor hate or dismay in my psyche as a human, but strive to understand how to more efficiently I can deal with such atrocities as they are directed toward me and seek the opportunity for knowledge and growth to unfold into a better more mature response.
I aim and strive to my fullest to act as a healer and represent what this means - to heal - issues, wounds, unresolved problems, in myself and in others. For this gift I have been given and I am grateful. Sadly, others are not on this path and I try my best to understand what encourages black and white thinking in the mass consciousness of the human psyche. Yes, I understand we are conditioned early in our childhood from our cultural programming and it is a very profitable way of our consumeristic society to sell goods and services benefitting largely from creating fear, scarcity and lack.
What I do not understand is why individuals, mature individuals that is, continue to unconsciously play in this game of disrespect, dishonor, and immense hatred without thinking more deeply. It would seem to me that any mature individual would seek refuge to reflect and gain a greater understanding about the game of war; the conditioning of hate; the projection of unjust anger; and the need to control one's environment that harms oneself and the world at large!
You see , when the tendency is to control; run to the law; find order; and follow the "must do's", we create burdens, restrictions, limitations and disorder down to the core of our own being! Not just the one who so called "wronged" us! When we jump to conclusions and react with scarcity, fear, and harm we create a very unleveled playing ground that ripples outwardly that makes it difficult to come back to center.
My question is, "What is really gained here?" Nothing grows in this kind arid environment. It simply festers and oozes more of the same.
Those who think in black and white terms usually fear conflict resolution because the mirror when flipped then reflects their true nature and demands ownership for their actions.
Sadly, as I said earlier, reaction, blame and projection is the way of our culture. We see it everyday. The need to defend is so deeply embedded in the psyche of humanity that we almost don't realize there are other alternatives - mediation, reflection, forgiveness, communication and resolution, to name a few. Instead we turn to threats, cameras, security systems and contracts to keep us safe from harm and to protect these precious belongings that mean more to us than the soul of a human spirit.
Yes, these constructs exist and they always will and they do serve some purpose. The question here is how much do we want, as mature individuals, to play into the creation of this craziness? To continue the need for control and a false sense of security.
What if harmony, trust and peace were the dominant messages of our media these days? What if the television had commercials of Good Will and forgiveness instead robbers, villains, destructive forces that intensify the fear that we have to protect ourselves. Yes, cultivating a belief that we as "sheep" do not have the innate capacity to feel secure in the midst of the storm is the mainstreams objective!
Alas, we can choose the higher road and not engage? We can choose to unravel our own ineptitude and traumas within our psyche and our bodies so as to not feel the need to shoot back out of old conditioning and wounds ! But, use conflict resolution to gain a deeper sense of comfort and ease within ourselves and our relationships. Healthy people cannot be controlled and manipulated! They see the game being played and choose to be a person of integrity and depth in order to shift away from being a target. They act as a person who comes from a place of caring, understanding and compassion supporting the belief that we are all just learning here and disputes and discrepancies are tools that offer us insight and knowledge into who we are to become who we want to be.
Immature people will always find a way to make another wrong. It is how the wronged decide to act that will determine the bigger picture and the greater ripples in the outcome of the circumstances. There will always people who feel victimized, weak and vindictive in the world and the only remedy here is for those of us who have done our homework to pray that they too, someday, will find security within themselves and no longer buy in to the need to control, manipulate and or hate another human being thinking it is what is the right way to be. NO! it causes more of the same.
I invite each of you at anytime when someone hits that trigger to look in the mirror first, naming and owning that issue before lashing out misdirecting the energy and hurting more people out of that old wound just festering for attention. It just is not right and it certainly does not make the world a better place.
To each of you I say happy healing. Find the courage, strength, fortitude and desire to get down with your bad self and grow.